UNDER CONSTRUCTION

This blog is currently under construction

Cyclismo Quote of the day

You never have the wind with you - either it is against you or you're having a good day. ~Daniel Behrman, The Man Who Loved Bicycles

Apologise to all the loyal readers of Cyclismo Paridiso, the road of late has been brutal, and internet connections have proved hard to find.

This update will have to be brief, I am sitting on a very uncomfortable stool and my buttocks are rejecting me. Since the last update, hundreds of miles of kilometres have been consumed and we made a very unexpected pitstop at the most feral festival since Cruffs.

More to follow....

Clockwatch - Overall distance

Captains Log - day 4

Apologies for the lack of blog action, the past two days on the road has seen us conquering some severly baron land with little or no signs of life and/or any form of internet - or "wee fee" as the Spanish say (Wi-Fi).


Our second big day in the saddle took us 90km in around 7 hours - significantly longer than we had ever planned to ride in a day. The day began with a spectacular mountain decent and a max speed of 63kph!!! Suitable camping ground was proving hard to find with middle Spain being so hot and dry - we would have surely snapped all tent pegs trying to pitch our two-man palace.


Patience prevailed and we were rewarded with a secret camping spot under some trees which happened to be next to a canal - the first water we had seen for over 100km. After some skinny dipping, Jose cooked our first bushtucker on our mini cooker - pasta con tomates.

We are currently in a town called Cuenca after eating up around 270 km in three days. We hit our first big climb which took us to around 1150ft above sea level - not much fun going up but coming but the beauty of a good hill is you are always rewarded with a massive descent. Cuenca is a beautiful town built into the hills and we have found an actual campsite with pool, hot showers and all the amenities any camper could hope for. We have decided to rest today and enjoy the splendors of Cuenca. We shall be hitting the road again tomorrow and hoping to make a dent in the remaining 260km to the Spanish coast.

Hollywood cycles

Cycling for several hours can make you think about some strange things. Maybe it´s the heat but yesterday I was pondering bicycles featured in movies...

Feeling flat

20km into day two and we got our first flat. Jose´s whip was favourite to pick up the first puncture due to its super skinny racer tyres but it was infact me that was the victim of a rogue piece of wire that impaled my back wheel. Like a formula 1 pit stop, we changed tyres in a lightning fast 20 minutes and were back on the tarmac.

Cyclismo quote of the day

"The hardest part of raising a child is teaching them to ride bicycles. A shaky child on a bicycle for the first time needs both support and freedom. The realization that this is what the child will always need can hit hard." ~Sloan Wilson

Video Diary - Day 1

Day one - the day in figures

Due to fatigue and sore ass, this post will have to be short. We have safely arrived in a sleepy Spanish town called Chinchon. The day was badly executed - lack of food, drink, pampers and road sense - but many a valuable lessons were learnt, albeit the hard way. Will lay a new blog as soon as we can, but for now its bed time. Beunos notches

Hours in saddle - 6.5
Kilometres of tarmac consumed - 80km
Max speed - 45.6 kph
Blazzing saddles - 36 degrees (felt like 50)
Arse ache factor - 7.5
Nappy rash factor - Jose will be dousing my buttocks with Johnson baby lotion before bed tonight for sure
High point - cycling through miles and miles of olive trees
Low point - burning down a six-lane motorway of death
Lesson of the day - if you want to see Spain, book and all inclusive with teletext - 7 nts, 299

Madrid by bike

Cyclismo quote of the day

To prepare for a race there is nothing better than a good pheasant, some champagne and a woman. -Jacques Anquetil

Colours

I shall be cycling in the colours of Team Astana. It´s tight but comfortable.

Sleepless in Madrid

There is a scene in the movie the Beach when Leonardo Di Caprio and his group of island castaways become so frustrated with a guy that moans constantly in pain after a shark attack that they can no longer tolerate it. They take the suffering Swede into the forest and leave him to die away from the group. DiCaprio say: "I hate to say it, but out of sight really is out of mind"

I never understood this scene - until lastnight.

After a quiet evening in our hostel´s Morrocan courtyard, sharing tales with other travelling folk and planning our first day on the road, we went back to our room to a guy who was litterally coughing up death all night. I´m pretty sure it was the longest night of my life and all I could think about was taking him into the forest and leaving him to be savaged by wild wolves. It sounds heartless and cruel but believe me, it would have broken the best of you. We have litterally had zero minero sleep and now need to cycle 50km in 35 degrees.

I should probably mention that this is after I came back to the room and he was pleasuring himself in the dark in his top bunk hideout.

Anyway...its is 10am and we are about to load our vehicles, slip into our lycra, slap on some factor 20 and hit the road for our first big day on the rubber.

I am not sure where our cycle will take us today but it is unlikely we´ll have internet access. We´ll update as soon as we can.

Adios

Cyclismo doodle

Cyclismo quote of the day

"The bicycle is a curious vehicle. Its passenger is its engine."
~John Howard

Here is one I made earlier (in reverse order)

Dos hermanos arrivos

After a sleepy two-hour flight with no leg room - (even for a man with no legs) we arrived in a sweaty Madrid. The policia were not happy with our make shift bike-garage and we were asked to move but we managed to rebuild what looked like two pretty good bikes.

The Hod

Because Jose has decided that the Fox is the stronger bicycle, I shall be barring a significant load of our survival kit. Namely, our entire personal effects - including: - eight pairs of undies, six t-shirts, two rain macs, a tub of Vaseline (in case of saddle chaff and/or any road rash sustained), two torches, an ipod, a pair of jeans and a bike pump.

I shall be also be responsible for transporting the accommodation for the duration of the tour which is an exquisite two-man tent which I believe was purchased from Netto.

This photo was taken on our test run to Richmond Park. We managed to squeeze a few more essential in.

Check-in

While Lance Armstrong battles for his eight victory in the mountains of France this July, another piece of cycling history will be unravelling in neighbouring Spain. Two idiots dresses in Lycra and converse trainers will be sticking up two spokes to the credit crunch and burning rubber across the land of paella.

I can't remember which one of us had the bright idea (it was probably me) - but tomorrow morning at 5am, my very ugly brother and I will be boarding easyjet flight 5475, non-stop to Madrid - carrying with us two bicycles and a bike pump. Our intentions ... to pedal the 800 km to Barcelona, via the orange fields of Valencia.

It is important to note at this point that we are NOT cyclists - the furthest I have cycled up to this point was on my morning paper round which consisted of an entire 25 drops down my street.

Our weapons have been dismantled and boxed for carriage upon the easyjet jumbo and at this point I am merely concerned that we are able to put them back together at the other end. Otherwise we got a bloody long walk.

Joe - who shall from this point on be referred to as Jose for our Spanish readers - will be straddled on a Shimano Scorpion Racer, while my human-powered vehicle of choice will be a Trek Hybrid Road Bike which I call 'The Fox'.